Best Kept Villagists 2008 – the fight is on

by Hugh G Leigh-Pithie

For some unfathomable reason I have been asked to chair the committee in charge of formalising our challenge for this year’s Best Kept Villagists competition.
This is a prestigious annual event, one our community has won for eight out of the last 10 years.
Quite a responsibility, therefore, for the chairman to make sure [...]

Have you ever had a Harvester before?

by Henrietta Scuttlers

One of our great annual villagist cultural events is just around the corner and this year it celebrates 40 years in existence.
Rural communities right across this green and pleasant land continually struggle with the problem of gentrification of the countryside as more townies make their way out into the sticks.
So, four decades ago, [...]

Our newest blogger – Frostbite Phil

by Derek Belm

It gives me voluptuous amounts of pleasure to welcome our latest recruit to The Shouty Villager’s blogorama.
Frostbite Phil is a legend hereabouts and it has taken several days of persuasion and a fair few snifters to get him agree to come on board.
Here is, earlier today, in the village pond:

Frostbite Phil is our [...]

Try a new flavour

by Thick John

The missus has cooked up a new flavour of crisps to put behind the bar here at the Bedknobs & Broomsticks boozer.
It is whelk and horseradish.
Here’s some whelks and horseradish, yesterday:
 
Sounds bloody revolting to me.
I’ll be sticking to my trusty cheese ‘n onion, ta very much.
But you’s lot are welcome to try a [...]

Hugging the planet at the Festival of Climate Change

by Sammy-Lou Westwinds

So my boss, Mr Belm, seems to be under the impression I’ll be writing everything in text speak and abbreviations.
He is always going on about “kids today” not being able to string a coherent sentence together.
But even I can’t believe he honestly thinks I’ll be using text speak to write in this blog – [...]

Tough on Europe, tough on the causes of Europe

by Laura Norder

I have been locked away with men for three days solid thrashing about and getting rather hot under our collective collars.
But it has proved to be time well-spent.
The local branch of the Conservative Party is now ready to launch its latest campaign – Out of Tune. Out of Europe.
We are aiming to get [...]

Summer health tips # 1 – sand

by Oona Flucker

My husband, the Reverend Timothy Flucker, is reorganising what has become a village favourite again this summer.
Taking his inspiration from his own childhood holidays in Minehead and from the sophisticated city folk of nearby Birmingham, last year he arranged for a small beach to be located in the field belonging to Old Man [...]

Children – shut them away until they turn 21

by Sandra Stallyon

Our streets and cul-de-sacs are over-run with them.
You cannot go shopping without being confronted by them.
Read any newspaper and there they are, getting into trouble.
Switch on the television and you will find them creating a frightful din.
Children. What are we to do with them?
Clearly there are several factors to blame. Skateboards is one:

But [...]

Two old gents make my day

by Henrietta Scuttlers

Enchanting and exciting news.
I’ve been entered in a most surprising fashion by a retired old bank manager and his slightly younger brother.
These two sprightly old coves have entered my body of work for a prestigious competition.
They have submitted my triptych – Signs of our Times – for the Kingsbury International Painting and Doodling Prize [...]

A peach like an arse and other amusing fruit and vegetables

by Hugh G Leigh-Pithie

The rain is unceasing in its awfullness today and as there is nothing more depressing than traipsing around in the showers on a Bank Holiday I’ve decided to spend my time more constructively.
As my current main squeeze (and fellow blogger on The Shouty Villager, Laura Norder) is otherwise engaged on the political campaign trail, [...]