by Derek Belm
This is the brand new blog site of The Shouty Villager, local newspaper hereabouts.
The Shouty Villager has long and rich tradition of being the organ of independent truth and hysterical nonsense for all those blessed with the villagist’s mentality.
These blogs are meant to interact with the actual factual newspaper itself, which can br bought from various places hereabouts and thereabouts.
The blogs have been created by myself, Derek Belm, in my capacity as actual factual Acting Editor of The Shouty Villager whilst the usual supremo Cyril Foulds-Stretching IV takes his long-suffering wife away on a 3-month round the world cruise to mark their 58th wedding anniversary.
Hopefully, once Cyril returns, this experiment will have proved a success and will form an important part of The Shouty Villager for many more years to come.
Please enjoy yourselves liberally with our wordsmithery and general antagonism.
Our bloggers include:
Derek Belm- Acting Editor of The Shouty Villager and model-maker to the stars, minor royalty and ordinary folk. Specialises in writing about business and everything else.
Hugh G Leigh-Pithie – Retired something or other, independently wealthy and into huntin’, shootin’ and fishin’. Will write when he’s sober enough.
Laura Norder – Local Tory matriarch, she is regarded highly in political circles as a fearsome orator with a handsome chest and sturdy thighs. Will write on whatever subject she damn well wants to write about, OK?
Edward Framley- Frightful old buffer and a legend in professional model-making circles. He is somewhat right-wing in his views on everything and will write about stamp collecting and some of his other more dubious hobbies.
Henrietta Scuttlers- Flighty and over-familiar co-ordinator of the local Neighbourhood Watch, she is a professional portrait artist who prefers to paint her subjects in the nude (herself rather than them, although she’s not bothered either way). Will write on art, culture and voyeurism.
Oona Flucker- Foul-mouthed local pharmacist and vicar’s wife, with forceful opinions on just about everything and everyone and never afraid to use her potty mouth to filthy effect. Will mostly write about health matters.
Dinsmore & Mostyn – Gentleman of refinement who like to put themselves about a fair bit. Will contribute as often as possible, depending on their current status regarding the forces of law and order and disgruntled husbands.
Thick John- Landlord of the Bedknobs & Broomsticks, our local Angela Lansbury-themed public house, who only eats chips and cheese & onion crisps (although never together, obviously). Will write about food and drink, conduct restaurant reviews and round-up local car boot sales.
Sammy-Lou Westwinds- Apprentice model-maker at Derek Belm & Sons, still only 18 and so with her finger on the pulse of what the younger people like to do she will write about music, fashion and stuff like that. Will write mainly in text speak and strange abbreviations.
Sandra Stallyon – Former head mistress of the local girls’ school, famously disqualified from Mastermind in the 1970s for refusing to accept there was an actual factual man called Darwin who came up with a theory about evolution. Still has strong views on education, children and religion and unlikely to listen to anyone else’s point of view.
