by Sandra Stallyon
Our streets and cul-de-sacs are over-run with them.
You cannot go shopping without being confronted by them.
Read any newspaper and there they are, getting into trouble.
Switch on the television and you will find them creating a frightful din.
Children. What are we to do with them?
Clearly there are several factors to blame. Skateboards is one:
But the biggest menace to our society is undoubtedly the hoodie. Here are some earlier:
I have a suggestion which is as simple-minded as it is brilliant. Shut the frightful creatures away until they are at least 21.
Why no-one has thought of this before is staggeringly incompetent. As a former headmistress of a girls’ school I was on the front-line of the war on children for almost 50 years.
It soon became abundantly apparent that the way in which to control such an unruly mob was to shut them away.
Alas, the governors were not so keen on transforming the school into a secure unit. They also rejected my idea to ban school holidays completely and to keep the girls captive and in my control until they were deemed mature enough – 21 or older – to return to their parents.
I still firmly believe this is the only sensible and practical solution to the menace of children.
Parents cannot be expected to take a lead on this. Teacher knows best.
I am delighted to read that some are now suggesting a reduction in the amount of school holidays that children are allowed to take.
Clearly this does not go far enough, but the boys and girls at the Institute for Public Policy Research have at least given this some thought. Well done, very good, you’ve all done quite well.
I have instructed Mr Belm to start a campaign forthwith in The Shouty Villager calling for children to be institutionalised until they are 21, but I have yet to hear back from him.
I now have to go and deal with the cacophony of noise coming from my neighbours’ ghastly brood.
Half-term is a national disgrace.
1 Comment
June 13, 2008 at 9:14 am
[...] members included Sandra Stallyon (a fellow blogger on The Shouty Villager), who was reheating her old argument that children should be locked up until they are [...]