by Oona Flucker
My husband, the Reverend Timothy Flucker, is reorganising what has become a village favourite again this summer.
Taking his inspiration from his own childhood holidays in Minehead and from the sophisticated city folk of nearby Birmingham, last year he arranged for a small beach to be located in the field belonging to Old Man Rivers next to the graveyard.
It was a huge hit with locals of all ages.
Plus, it must not be forgotten, that there are enormous health benefits to spending time on the beach. Although we may not have the bracing sea air to fortify us locally, we do have the aroma from the Trent & Mersey Canal passing close by and there is always the stench of Old Man Rivers himself to contend with too.
So, praise be to my wonderful husband for taking the time and trouble to do yet another selfless act for the sake of our community.
Not that this bunch of f***ing t***s will ever show any hint of bl***y gratitude.
Last year some of them could not help themselves and complained there was no s****ing Punch and f***ing Judy on the beach.
By and large, most people enjoyed themselves. As can be seen here:
We will be organising some jolly games this summer to really boost our collective health levels.
These will be tailored to suit all ages and members of the family and so will ensure that as well as enjoying the traditional larks associated with beach life, we all get a lovely healthy work-out too.
Keep reading The Shouty Villager and this blog everyone for your regular updates on the beach and some other useful health tips for summer.
And no, there will be no f***ing Punch and Judy-style entertainment b******s again this year either.
T*****s!
4 Comments
May 28, 2008 at 7:00 am
Oona, lovely slice of whimsy.
Is there any chance you could tone down the language so the asterix count isn’t so big?
May 28, 2008 at 7:01 am
Up your’s Belm! You twonk.
(Something like that?)
May 28, 2008 at 7:02 am
Yes, that would be excellent.
May 28, 2008 at 7:02 am
A******e!