Sex and education in schools

by Sandra Stallyon

As examination season is once more in full swing I am sure we will again hear the debate of how girls perform better than boys.

There is no mystery or surprise to this fact. Girls are more intelligent and boys are wicked.

I have always been a strong advocate of single sex schools and fought tooth and nail during my own illustrious and long career as the distinguished and highly respected headmistress of our local girls’ school to keep boys locked out at all costs.

The war on children is hard enough without mixing them up. Far better to wage individual battles against girls and boys.

One should always play to one’s strengths. My strength lay in disciplining young girls and so that is why I ensured boys were never allowed through our magnificent front entrance.

There was one minor blip to this policy when one of our more liberal and limp-wristed governors managed to force through a trial programme of allowing boys to attend our Preparatory School for an academic year.

This was clearly against my better judgement and sound, practical wisdom. But the other members of the governing body were rather weak-willed and somewhat in the thrall of this one particular governor (something of a minor local celebrity).

As I could have predicted the trial was a complete and utter disaster. Allowing wickedness and foulness into our school was folly.

Boys care nothing for academic learning or intellect.

They have but one thing on their mind, as can be proved by this photograph of one of the beastly young tykes accosting Ms Tweeks in the girls’ washroom:

Ms Tweeks, our former Game Mistress, was quite alarmed at the incident. Admittedly I did have recourse to warn her about her choice of outfit on numerous occasions and summoned her to my study for a dressing down quite frequently – her skirt was always too short and her blouses always too low-cut.

But such an unprovoked bout of groping was all the proof I required to go back to the governors and make them abandon the trial of allowing boys into Prep.

No-one dared raise the subject ever again whilst I remained as headmistress.

I did have to take more stringent and physical action against Ms Tweeks over her dress sense, but such is the life for a dilligent headmistresses as I once was.

I’m happy to report that the girls’ school remains a vehemently single-sex organism to this day.

Although the issue of boys does rear up from time to time, there is never a real prospect of wickedness entering the girls or the school.

I’ve little doubt that my old girls will triumph in their various examinations this summer and eclipse the results from the mixed sex, distinctly downmarket sixth-form college nearby.