The Villager Debates – BikerFest, good or bad?

This is the inagau…inaugr…inaggr…the first of The Villager Debates which we hope will become a regular fixture.
We’ll be asking two of our guest bloggers to discuss the pro’s and con’s of a particular issue or subject.
First up we’ve got a clash of female proportions as Henrietta Scuttlers and Laura Norder go head to chest (Henrietta [...]

Summer health tips #4 – keeping kids happy

by Oona Flucker

One of the greatest health problems of summer is children.
Having them around the house instead of safely enclosed in school for most of the daylight hours can provoke feelings of high anxiety and mounting stress even the most placid and well-meaning of folk.
If the weather is foul then such problems can be multiplied. [...]

Pitfalls of penning Bonekickers with a villagist twist

by Mostyn (off of Dinsmore & Mostyn)

Father has been bitten by the writer’s bug.
After watching my dilatory twonk of a PA (that illiterate oaf Scotty) typing away at his little PineappleMac (or somesuch contraption), Father decided that there must be money to be made in writing words.
His aim, therefore, is to write the Christmas special of [...]

Abandon children, not examinations

by Sandra Stallyon

I am refreshed, revitalised and invigorated from a short holiday with an old staff member and friend.
I visited eastern England’s premier coastal village, Tepid-next-the-Sea, to spend some quality time with Elspeth Grinder who is now head mistress of the local school there.
Ms Grinder came to me as a recently qualified Mathematics teacher in [...]

Food on the move

by Thick John

Exciting news! If you can stomach that kind of thing, obviously.
In my absence from the village, one of our local take-aways has introduced a delivery service.
Whilst we were all getting drunk and disorderly thanks to the flighty sort Henrietta putting Belm’s money to good use, local eatery Pie-hole’s (owned by Stevie Pie-Hole) has [...]

Return of the bloggists

by Henrietta Scuttlers

The Shouty Villager’s blogs have been unusually quiet this past week or so.
I should explain.
Prior to his departure for a working holiday tour of Europe with his wife (Mrs Belm), our esteemable editor-in-chief Derek left me with a “kitty” valued at several hundreds of pounds.
This was to pay for any unforseen expenses during [...]

A lesson in basic economics

by Edward Framley

I have no knowledge whatsoever of financial matters, the stock market and suchlike, because when you’re as independently wealthy as myself there is absolutely no reason to fret.
But I won’t let that stop me from expressing an opinion or three about what is euphemistically described as a crunching credit crisis.
It hasn’t stopped others [...]

A fitting tribute to a villagist icon

by Laura Norder

It is not often that the political divide is successfully straddled by a particular issue or individual.
There are usually too many differences of opinion to bring about consensus, such as the thorny subject of nudism on public beaches.
However, one person who continues to be all things to all people and who has a [...]

An inglorious 12th

by Mostyn (off of Dinsmore & Mostyn)

I was awakened on Saturday morning by Father, who had decided to take Dinsmore and myself out into the countryside for some shooting.
This was, of course, because it was “The Glorious Twelth”.
Now, there are two “twelths” – the first (12 July) is the day on which Protestant Loyalists march [...]

The ingredients of good TV

by Jimmy Rasher

My blogging has taken a back seat to cutlery selling and television watching.
But those two worlds collided in spectacular style last week.
I found myself stood on the doorstep of a large detached house in north Birmingham trying to persuade the lady of the manor to buy some forks when she said: “Aren’t you [...]