by Frostbite Phil
I’m going to do something a little different today.
Instead of concentrating on one sport and one local accomplishment, I’m going to write about the wider issue of health and well-being.
More specifically, I’m here to talk to you today about why communism is best for health, wealth and prosperity.
It was heartening to see one of big Birmingham’s big-name localised politicos talking about how the East European diet is so much better than the all frills, no thrills affair served up by your Mediterranean types.
Hat tip in the direction of Paul Tilsley, deputy big-wig of the entire council no less, who extolled the virtue of an austere lifestyle.
It is something I’ve been hammering into my fellow villagists ever since I moved here from the frozen north two decades ago.
Communism is the key. Whether you want to live longer than your right-wing enemies of the state, or feel fitter and stronger than the insipid middle-of-the-road types, there really is only one answer.
It is also true today as ever it were that communism embodies the spirit of triumphing over disasterhood.
Take our village rowing club – the Big Strokers – who have not let the Great Local Drought (14 years and counting) deter their valiant efforts.
Led by “Red” Jed Jones (a fellow communist), the club still hosts regular competitions. Here’s “Red” Jed, yesterday, about to launch one of the club’s junior rowers Billy Bunkerhead on a time trial:
Billy failed to beat the record time for the 200-metre dry river bed course, but still managed a credible 19 hrs 36mins.
Elsewhere in the village we have evidence of the iron-will ingrained by communist principles.
Even some of the more elitist sports are showing signs of eschewing the type of decadent attitudes usually associated with them.
For example, our village 3-day eventing champion – Felicity Chomper – has benefited from a village-wide campaign to buy her a new horse (the extremely well-bred Nickersnackersnockers). We all have a share in the horse and so a share in Ms Chomper’s success.
Alasshe was unavailable for a photograph, yesterday, on account of her being ugly (according to Bob Bastud). So here’s a digital representation of what Felicity Chomper and Nickersnackersnockers probably look like:
I will be providing more examples in future blog posts about why we should all be adopting a communist mindset and lifestyle (Editor: Oh no you bloody won’t!).
And I also plan to do profiles of some of the great communist leaders of all time to show how their virtues can be translated to success in the sport arena (Editor: No chance, lefty, this is a politically ambivalent and inept blog. Stick to your normal stuff and let’s have no more of this red-tinted politicking. OK?).
Next week I’ll be looking at some of the popular indoor sporting activities that local villagists are currently excelling in.
[Villagist 5-a-side football update: Sock Rovers 4 vs Hammerwich Hellmouth 0 (Sock Rovers are now joint league leaders with Water Orton Onyx after four matches played).]
