by Jimmy Rasher
My blogging has taken a back seat to cutlery selling and television watching.
But those two worlds collided in spectacular style last week.
I found myself stood on the doorstep of a large detached house in north Birmingham trying to persuade the lady of the manor to buy some forks when she said: “Aren’t you Jimmy Rasher, off of the telly?”
It doesn”t happen a lot, getting recognised and everything, so I’m usually a bit bashful about my previous rise to the dizzying heights of children’s TV.
Turns out the lady uninterested in buying my cutlery was the wife of someone called a digital media producer and she invited me in for tea. Her husband has a few projects on the go and was on the look out for a presenter for one of them and a voice-over for another and she felt I would be ideal.
So I went back later that evening to meet him (Archie) and listen to the projects.
Unfortunately, the presenting job didn’t sound very “me” – I’m allergic to all wild berries, flowers and most wildlife, so heading a show called “Let’s Get Ready to Forage” (a game show type challenge for under-10s about surviving in the wilderness for a week) didn’t sound suitable.
But the voice-over gig sounded more up my street.
Called “Vet School Kitchen Disasters” it follows the lives, loves, trials, tribulations, triumphs and turbulence of those who work in the kitchens of a leading vet school. Most of the series, which has yet to be taken up by any of the broadcasters, is “in the can” and Archie just needs someone with the right amount of humour and gravitas and who is cheap to provide the narration.
Here’s a still from the show and the main vet school kitchen where most of the action takes place. That’s one of the young cooks and a rough-handed groom in the background:
The undoubted star of the show is the vet school kitchen’s chief cook and head housekeeper.
A formidable lady with a sharp tongue, high standards and a dubious past, Eleanor Wii is also quite a bitter person having unsuccessfully tried to sue Nintendo for using her surname on a popular games console.
Eleanor also has a drink problem and is never without her green, feathery cape:
It is now up to Archie and his talented team to finish off the series, write my script and find a broadcaster willing to take a gamble on “Vet School Kitchen Disasters”.
In my educated opinion, the show is a potentially massive winner as it features animals, cookery and a cast of truly ghastly individuals.
I won’t be giving up my door-to-door cutlery selling just yet, but this could be my ticket back into big-time TV.
I’ll return to some TV reviewing when I’ve watched something worth writing about – you might have a long wait.
