by Edward Framley
I have no knowledge whatsoever of financial matters, the stock market and suchlike, because when you’re as independently wealthy as myself there is absolutely no reason to fret.
But I won’t let that stop me from expressing an opinion or three about what is euphemistically described as a crunching credit crisis.
It hasn’t stopped others from spewing forth their ignorance either, so I feel almost honour bound to toss my pre-decimalisation coin into the bowler hat.
Clearly those who aren’t lucky enough to have a family fortune squirrelled away acruing untold riches in interest are having a tough time of it.
An old lady chum of mine, Cynthia, married one of these City types and informs me the world financial markets have moved from a state of mild unease to total “brown underpants time” hysteria in a very short space of time. She even says her husband is off his golf at the moment, such is the extent of his concern.
So, I think, it must be bad out there in the world of high finance and low moral fibre.
Indeed, my long-term neighbours (the Mucklers - Fred and Olivia) recently called by seeking advice on how they could bolster their pensions.
Once they explained what a pension was, we chatted about their options over a few ports.
The upshot was that both Fred (who is 71) and Olivia (a sprightly 66) should consider some part-time gainful employment to top up their hand-outs.
I’m pleased to say they took my advice.
Fred is currently acting as a satellite installation, positioning himself on hilltops and in wide open spaces to enable campers and caravaners to get a satellite television signal. Here he was, yesterday, braving the elements at Kingsbury Water Park, earning a honest day’s crust:
Olivia, on the other hand, is putting some of the skills she has picked up at our local villagist equivalent of the WI to good use.
She has set herself up as a mobile florist, attempting to sell flowers from the basket of her bicycle as she cycles all over the world. She picks her stock up from verges and at the roadside and I believe she has so far made 93p in new money.
Here she was, yesterday, on the outskirts of Boise, Idaho, in the United States of America, shortly before she was chased out of the state capital as a suspected terrorist when someone noticed she was “dressed funny and spoke with an odd accent”:
So, all things considered, a successful experiment in surviving the global financial catastrophe looming large over most of you.
You have to accumulate in order to be able to speculate on just how bad others must be feeling whilst you sleep soundly safe in the knowledge that your supply of money is never going to run out.
A lesson in basic economics that many would do well to learn.
