Our regular bloggers and their specialist subjects will include:
Derek Belm – Acting Editor of The Shouty Villager and model-maker to the stars, minor royalty and ordinary folk. Specialises in writing about business and everything else.
Hugh G Leigh-Pithie – Retired something or other, independently wealthy and into huntin’, shootin’ and fishin’. Will write when he’s sober enough.
Laura Norder – Local matriarch, she is regarded highly in political circles as a fearsome orator with a handsome chest and sturdy thighs. Will write on whatever subject she damn well wants to write about, OK?
Edward Framley- Frightful old buffer and a legend in professional model-making circles. He is somewhat right-wing in his views on everything and will write about stamp collecting and some of his other more dubious hobbies.
Henrietta Scuttlers- Flighty and over-familiar co-ordinator of the local Neighbourhood Watch, she is a professional portrait artist who prefers to paint her subjects in the nude (herself rather than them, although she’s not bothered either way). Will write on art, culture and voyeurism.
Oona Flucker- Foul-mouthed local pharmacist and vicar’s wife, with forceful opinions on just about everything and everyone and never afraid to use her potty mouth to filthy effect. Will mostly write about health matters.
Dinsmore & Mostyn – Gentleman of refinement who like to put themselves about a fair bit. Will contribute as often as possible, depending on their current status regarding the forces of law and order and disgruntled husbands.
Thick John- Landlord of the Bedknobs & Broomsticks, our local Angela Lansbury-themed public house, who only eats chips and cheese & onion crisps (although never together, obviously). Will write about food and drink, conduct restaurant reviews and round-up local car boot sales.
Sammy-Lou Westwinds- Apprentice model-maker at Derek Belm & Sons, still only 18 and so with her finger on the pulse of what the younger people like to do she will write about music, fashion and stuff like that. Will write mainly in text speak and strange abbreviations.
Sandra Stallyon – Former head mistress of the local girls’ school, famously disqualified from Mastermind in the 1970s for refusing to accept there was an actual factual man called Darwin who came up with a theory about evolution. Still has strong views on education, children and religion and unlikely to listen to anyone else’s point of view.
Frostbite Phil – Originally from the frozen wastes, Frostbite Phil is our local villagist atheist, professional limerick writer, immigrant and sports nut. So he will be blogging about mutli-culturalism, faith issues and anything leisure or sport-related that comes across his narrow-minded radar.
Jimmy Rasher – Former children’s television presenter, Jimmy was sacked about 10 years ago after encouraging young viewers to stay up beyond the 9pm watershed. He says he is a victim of a conspiracy by over-sensitive types. Now works as a door-to-door cutlery salesman and will blog on all things TV and media-related.
